I’ve been off work for four months now but that doesn’t mean that I’ve been having a holiday. I am doing a full time job at the moment.

Jules and I had a conversation yesterday which may mean that I might have to go back to my nine to five job earlier than I want to… and it breaks my heart to leave Nora at a very early age.

And I’m not looking forward to having two full time jobs!

Especially days like today.

Nora didn’t really sleep the whole day yesterday… and since I was so tired, I fell asleep with her around 6pm, after her 4pm feed. This meant that I was late at preparing her feed on time. After I changed her, she was on my boob for 40 minutes and then she had her formula… and she finally fell asleep after 10pm… her bedtime is 8pm the latest.

I went to bed after midnight and she started grumbling around 3am.

After changing her, feeding her, playing with her, finishing her feed… she still did not want to sleep… until around 6.45am (her next feed is at 8am)… and as I’m typing this, Jules’s alarm just went off and it won’t be waking Jules up, but Nora is stirring in her hammock.

I really do not know how I’m going to cope if I go back to work right now. I might be cranky at work and and home… and won’t be able to do a good job anywhere.

This is one reason why I’m feeling homesick. I come from a huge family and there would always be someone to look after Nora… which will save nursery money and me worrying because she’s with family instead of trusting a stranger.

My mom’s been looking after my aunts kids ever since she retired from work. My aunts would either leave my cousins over on their way to work or once they are older, my cousins just head over to mom’s after school.

Mom’s thinking of helping out by coming over to look after Nora for a month when I go back to work… and I can’t thank her enough. And knowing mom, she will follow my instructions… plus she’ll get Nora potty trained in no time!

Did I say mom has retired? She’s retired from her paid job and now have a full time unpaid job!